Sunday, May 23, 1999
1. Learning how not to react.
For most of my life, when something triggered an emotional reaction in me, I was swept away by my feelings, even when I didn't show it. Over recent years, I've begun to learn to give up reacting, to realize that I don't want to be "stuck" in unpleasant states, and that I have choice. By learning to observe my reactions, I don't get lost in them as often or re-enforce them with negative thinking. And when I'm separate from and yet still aware of my reactions, then I can properly comfort myself (and my inner child) and recover much more quickly.
As my Guides say, "the person who does not react, stays clear. There is no need to justify, defend, make wrong, or retaliate. The peace (within) is worth it."
2. Listening to what the other person really is saying.
I am being taught, by life and particularly by a really great book I'm reading called "After the Honeymoon" by Daniel Wile, that if I listen more deeply to what is being said by others, underneath the surface messages, I will understand them better, and respond much more appropriately.
I have all too often taken people's words literally, especially in my personal life, when what they were trying to get across was not exactly what they were saying.
I used to think it was up to the other person to express themselves clearly, but now I'm becoming aware that I need to "listen clearly" to all that is going on and trying to be communicated (even under the surface of the other person's awareness).
This is an important learning for me, and helping me become more effective at communicating and more conscious.
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