Psychic Group on the Ego

Aderan: We would like to talk about purity of spirit. Your society has some very strange notions about purity, among them the notion of one-upmanship: "I'm purer than you." Whoever says that, of course, has just blown it because that's not what it's all about. The journey with purity of spirit is not to be contaminated by ego. As some of you know, the ego is a chameleon. It wears a thousand faces. Sometimes it's judgmental or superior. Sometimes it's overly meek or acts inferior. Sometimes it's too attached or greedy. Sometimes it's exaggeratedly needy. Purity of spirit is to recognize when biases, filters and distortions creep in and not to act from them. It means to wait or do what is necessary to return to a place of clarity, peace, or center.

It's not that the ego is bad. After all, from the place of essence or purity, there is no judgment. It's just that the ego can be blind. For instance, you wouldn't drive your car with a blindfold on, and yet in certain ways each of you drives your life that way for periods of time. We're asking you to give yourselves a gift, perhaps the most precious gift you could give to yourselves, and that gift to is become aware of how entrenched your ego is in the driver's seat of your life. We want you to notice how much in control it is, how much you are operating from what we would call unconscious or blind motives versus true seeing, heading where you want to be, when you want to be there.

The two sets of ego patterns we want to focus on are the wounded ego and the strong ego. The strong ego is very easy to talk about, but the relationship between the two is more challenging. The strong ego is the part of you that wants its way, that believes what it sees (meaning what it thinks it sees from within its biases); that is what we would call actively blind.

The wounded ego is different from the strong ego, and yet there is a direct relationship between the two. Often wounding can come from the backlash of having been in strong ego. For example, a two year old boy, totally wrapped up in himself, is running and screaming through the house and knocks something over. His parent comes in and yells at him for breaking the object. This becomes very wounding to the child at this particular time. The action of the child's strong ego created a kind of whiplash in the reaction of the parent which then rebounded and injured the child's ego.

We are speaking about two intertwining themes. If the strong ego is allowed to run amuck and thinks it can have everything its way, and that everything it believes is the way things are, it's in a sorry state indeed. The strong ego needs to be pruned, it needs brick walls, it needs to be corrected. In a similar and yet different way the wounded self and wounded ego also needs healing. Before we go any further with this discussion, however, we need to speak of original separation.

There is one primary wound that has nothing to do with ego. It is often referred to as "the pain of separation." Like a lamb that gets separated from the flock, when a Being incarnates in a physical body, there is a level at which it has separated from Oneness. We are not saying that being in a physical body means that there is no way to return. We are saying, however, that when you first enter a physical body, the experience of embodiment is so captivating that you lose contact with what we would call "Reality." You become identified with being an individual, and in that process you actually energetically disconnect from Oneness. This does not mean you've made some huge mistake.

With very few exceptions this is exactly how life on Earth goes. There are rare souls who never disconnect from Oneness from birth onward, but you can count them on one hand in most generations. Most souls go through this process. It is analogous to the shock you felt when the imbilical cord was cut and you were no longer one energetically with your mother. Until the cord was cut you were not her baby. In fact, we would say you were her. When you take your first breath and scream, the scream is not because you've been isolated from mother but because you have suddenly fallen into a deep dark well of embodiment, and the light recedes at a very rapid pace. The pain of this separation is an experience of loss of connection. It is not wounding in the ordinary sense; this is not an ego wound. In fact, much of the pain and sorrow you feel in everyday life is an echo of this primary separation from God or Oneness, whatever you wish to call it.

Ego wounding, on the other hand, is what you normally consider "ego injury." This happened when you were told as a child that you were a bad boy or girl, criticized regularly (which is merciless); punished; ignored; devalued; given no vote whatsoever. There is a teaching here, but perhaps not what you would expect. The teaching is that when your parents were in negative ego, they would blow it. Any parent, no matter how disconnected they are, can go into essence for short periods of time, and when they do, that parent is a being of light and love. The more often a parent is lost in their own ego, the more they are wounding to the child. The chain of wounding can occur unconsciously from generation to generation until the cycle is broken through the lense of true seeing.

There are even wounds that travel from lifetime to lifetime, what you call "karma." The bottom line is that in the same way a baby is taught not to touch a hot stove because it will burn, you are being taught in all sorts of ways not to grab too tightly onto life. At times what you call life is not even life. Money, for instance, is not life. Your car is not life. Your bicycle is not life. At a certain level even your body is not alive. Your spirit is alive and that gives your body life. What egos get the most attached to is often dead.

The expression "I don't want to die" is saying that ego does not want to die. Ego does not want to lose control. Ego does not want to face itself. Ego does not want to submit to God and essence. This is very true to the degree that the ego is large. The ego can be too large, and the ego can be too small. One needs a healthy functioning ego. We are saying that a healthy, functioning ego is submissive to the essence. A healthy functioning ego is open, humble, devoted and reverential, and has the faith that its needs will be met without having to grasp. A too small ego is panicked that nothing will ever work out, that everything will be too painful, that it's powerless. A gargantuan ego has no room for anyone else's opinions, needs, wants, words, or sometimes even presence. A small ego has no room for self. The big ego has no room for other.

What you are being taught is that you have to adjust your values. You have to value that which is eternal, not that which is transitory. You have to recognize that egos which are transitory will not interact in the way that essences do, so not only are we asking you to see the eternal in yourselves, but to seek essence in each other.

An Awareness Exercise of Ego and Essence:

We would like you to pair off. We want you to look into each other's eyes at the same time. First, look at your partner as an ego embodied being. Perceive what you can about their biases, their attachments, their blind spots. After you feel that you've done that sufficiently, look in your partner's eyes and see them as an eternal being. Notice how you feel after you've looked at your partner, first as an ego embodied being and then as an eternal being.

After the eye gazing process is complete, share what you saw in your partner's eyes. You can take in what your partner saw in you. This can be a very powerful exercise because through the intention of invoking and perceiving essence, one can assist its expression in another.

Hank: There's a taboo in our culture against really seeing people, so we look at and see the facade. Everybody is seeing each other's facade, and often no one is really looking at anybody. It's a social agreement, just like there's a social agreement to be disconnected from Oneness. The healthy being lets themselves be awake. We really do have to swim against the social agreements in order to cultivate soul relationships with ourselves, our friends, or our tribe and say, "I can be here and I can see here."

Aderan: We would like you each to make a commitment that from this day forward to see as much as you can see--not by strain, no strain whatsoever--but by the grace of God. First see yourselves; it has to start there. Then see those you are closest to. Then finally see everyone in your life. God bless you all. We thank you.


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