Recent Insights: December 1999

Updated: Wednesday, December 01, 1999

Note: I took the month of November 1999 off from recording my insights, both to rest my arms (to prevent repetitive stress injury), and because I started a new relationship and found my time taken up differently.

1. Communication. In my new relationship, I'm reminded how important it is to keep communications clear. If either of us think we've mis-communicated, we double-check with the other person to make sure we've gotten the message across that we've meant to. This helps to maintain our openness together.

2. Flow. Now that I've have a primary partner in my life, in addition to a thriving professional practice, pets, and a home to care for, I'm seeing a new level of natural flow and surrender in my life. Contrary to my previous patterns and old expectations, I'm able to see more clients, interact with my girlfriend, and handle my house needs without feeling any loss of alone time or space. I'm simply feeling open to what live asks me to do, what it brings me, and the changing rhythms of my life.

3. Nurturance. I didn't realize at the time that during my five years between relationships, I'd developed a life style that not only was successful in keeping me happy and creative, but also "dried me up." In other words, like a plant deprived of water, I'd developed a thicker skin and became unconscious of my coping with a lack of loving in my life. I only became aware of this as my new partner started nurturing me, and I felt layers of "hide" dissolving and found myself becoming softer, happier, and more "watery". It's like part of me went into hiding or sleep, and has reawakened and is happy to be revived.

4. Expectations. "Expectations are the source of all pain" the Buddha said, and I'm finding that when I expect my new partner to show up at a certain time, or call me a particular night, and she doesn't, my ego definitely gets "tweaked" and can start thinking anxiously or negatively. This even though my Guides tell me everything is o.k. and let me know why she hasn't called or is late. In other words, my expectations create pictures of what was supposed to happen, and then I'm upset what something doesn't occur. I'm learning to communicate effectively about my needs in these types of situations (Just call me and let me know that there is a change of plan or a delay) and not laying trips on her.

5. Feedback. I'm the kind of person who thrives of feedback, even when it's corrective. Then I can relax and know that the other person will let me know what works and what doesn't, or even offends. I'd much rather be given the chance to process an upset or disparity than have walls grow between myself and another.

6. Needs. It's still new for me to, in the moment, stay in touch with my needs and ask -- if I'm with someone else -- for my needs to be met. The more I practice honoring my needs, the more I realize how incredibly valuable it is to stay authentic. It's keeping me much clearer and thriving.

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